Today we’d like to introduce you to Lindsey Frazier.
Hi Lindsey, please kick things off for us with an introduction to yourself and your story.
Hey! I grew up in Indiana, in a city about 30 miles northeast of Indianapolis. I have two siblings and a large extended family that I was very close to. As far as I knew, I’d live in Indiana my entire life, with no real plans of leaving after high school. However, life changed pretty abruptly, just after high school, when I woke up one morning to the news that a friend of mine had been murdered. It was unexpected and shocking, as you might expect, and it sent me (and an entire friend group) into a spiral of fear. Fear of the town I grew up in; fear of people; fear of the possibility of it happening to me or another friend I loved. So, as a nineteen-year-old girl, learning how to cope in a world that felt cruel and wildly unpredictable, I decided to pack up and leave. Four months after my friend died, I moved to Nashville, Tennessee—the place that would become my refuge, my new home to rest, grieve and grow in. A place that promised me protection through the back roads of horse farms and sunsets that set over the hills. Eventually though, even the beauty of this city could not promise me the reprieve I was longing for forever; I had to stop running from the pain.
Shortly after I got married in 2007, I got connected with a woman who counseled young women in trauma. It was there on the loveseat in her office that I started my journey of recovery. It was there I learned how freeing it was to be honest, and to let someone else in on all the fear and grief I was holding. During that time, I started writing. And to give a little context, I’d never really enjoyed reading or writing as a kid. Always having someone else write my papers in school, and skimming books, reading only cliff notes for test taking, haha. So, needless-to-say, I wasn’t one of those little girls who cared about having a diary and writing in it every day. One day, at the end of a therapy session, my counselor handed me a journal. She encouraged me to get my thoughts and feelings down on paper. Having the distaste I did for writing, I wasn’t sure I’d really find the fulfillment she thought I would. Well, I was very wrong! I filled up that journal within weeks, finding relief in the outlet. I remember the moment I finished the entire journal, having written the last sentence on the last page. I sat on my bed with the book in my lap, pages full of secrets and worst-case scenarios. Full of details I wanted no one to know. I didn’t know what to do with it now that it was finished, plagued by the thought that someone might find it, and God forbid it be my parents. So, I planned to just throw it in the fire pit in my backyard when, almost immediately, I felt a shift in perspective. It was like I just knew, deep in my gut, that the words in that journal were not meant to be burned, but to be told. And here, a decade later, that story is my memoir, Oh Love, Come Close.
I’m sure you wouldn’t say it’s been obstacle free, but so far would you say the journey has been a fairly smooth road?
Life? No, absolutely the farthest thing from obstacle free. I don’t know anyone who has lived to be 36 (which is my age) that can say life has just gone really well for them. Maybe they’re out there, but I haven’t met them yet. But I’m going to transition the conversation now to the focus on what I did with that journal and the story I decided to tell—the making of my memoir, Oh Love, Come Close.
I wouldn’t say the road to getting this book out into the world has been smooth, but I don’t think I expected that. Writing this memoir was a ten year journey. A decade! That is a long time! So, for years, I fought through major self-doubt and insecurity, feeling like everyone else around me was advancing in their careers while I was still writing in the dark. I was in my twenties, raising children, and trying to find time to write in my free time. Oftentimes it was really lonely. I’d dreamed of becoming a published author someday but I wasn’t sure I believed it would ever happen. And I didn’t want that dream to that take away the focus of just writing the story I needed to write. So, I set my sights on a new goal: to write a compelling story. I think I accomplished that. I believe with all original, compelling art, you are going to have resistance. I can honestly say that pushing through the resistance, and showing up every day to keep writing the story, is what drove me to create something I am unbelievably proud of.
Thanks for sharing that. So, maybe you can tell us more about your work next?
Sure! Well, before I became an author, I was an advocate. Now, I am both. I spent years volunteering at organizations that served the marginalized and most forgotten; I found my place amongst them. After a while of living in Nashville, I began to feel more at home in group recovery circles, and at the local day center for our unhoused neighbors, than I did anywhere else in the city. I’d roll into the parking lot for my shift and have many smiling faces ready to greet me. I have learned the most about life not by just observing but by digging in, getting my hands dirty, and working hard on the behalf of others.
As of right now, writing is the medium where I have found both my own freedom and the ability to keep advocating on behalf of others. If it’s true that vulnerability breeds vulnerability, then my hope is that in the transparency of my words, someone else will find the courage to share their story, to seek their own freedom and to know they are worthy of it. I have two other projects I’m working on right now, but the very next one is a book of poetry, essay and musings. I really want to tell you the title of it but I can’t release that quite yet.
Is there a quality that you most attribute to your success?
That’s a great question. I can think of a few: Integrity; self-discipline; honesty–to ourselves and to others. I believe these three things are the best we can offer ourselves and the world around us. I also believe these three things keep us grounded.
Integrity requires humility, and a willingness to be wrong, to make amends and try again. Self-discipline puts our insecurity in place; it doesn’t require the insecurity to go away, it just says, “Hey, we’re going to do this anyway.” And honesty helps us all sleep at night. I have to face these head-on every single day. Some days I am not good at them, but no one is asking for perfection, either. So maybe I’ll add grace in there, too.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.lindseyfrazier.me/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lindseyfrazier/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lindseyefrazier/
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/lindseyfrazier
- Other: https://www.tiktok.com/@lindsey_frazier
Image Credits
Jonathan Frazier, Chris Haggarty, and Alicia Rector
