Conversations with Lauren Routledge

Today we’d like to introduce you to Lauren Routledge.

Lauren, we appreciate you taking the time to share your story with us today. Where does your story begin?
“A career in entertainment and long-term relationships are diametrically opposed.” This is a quote from a one-on-one conversation I had recently with a mentor in entertainment. Before you get upset about the quote, I need to give a little insight: he was not saying long-term relationships are impossible, nor is he incorrect. What is it like to navigate family, friendships, and dating as a full time actor and performer? I can’t speak for everyone, but for me, it has been the most fulfilling and at times, the most heartbreaking pursuit.

Every morning, I jump on a group facetime call with my two sisters and nephews. I have been doing this since my oldest nephew was born. Why? Simple. I don’t have the privilege to live near my sisters and I want my nephews to truly know me, recognize my voice, so when we do get moments in person together, those glimpses of time can be spent making memories and not getting to know each other. I call my parents every day. Can you believe that? To a lot of people, that seems like too much of a commitment for the lack of hours in a day. For me, it is a choice to prioritize my familial relationships no matter where I am working in the world. I have had to miss family birthdays, wedding dress shopping for my sister, funerals, holidays, etc. because my industry’s schedule is potentially a little less lenient. However, my family has shifted with me; celebrating Christmas in the state I was performing in or even simply making a long drive/flight to support me. Quite frankly, I would not be anywhere without my family’s support. They have walked alongside me from the moment I first stepped on stage to where I am now, performing for a living. I have the privilege of having my parents as mentors and my sisters as my best friends. I never want to take that for granted.

I’m sure it wasn’t obstacle-free, but would you say the journey has been fairly smooth so far?
As you may have realized by now, I tend to move a lot for work. The benefit to this chaos is that I get to meet and work alongside so many incredible people all over the world. The negative side is that all of a sudden, the friends go from eating every meal with you, sharing every hour of the day to living halfway across the country with a new schedule in a different time zone. As you can imagine, it gets tricky to stay connected. It is hard when the job you love stops you from supporting your friends physically, like attending your friend’s wedding you have talked about and dreamed about for years. I wish I could sit here and say I have never lost friendships over time; that I have mastered texting and calling and I always know the ins and outs of every friend’s life. I can’t say that. I’m not sure many people can say that. However, I can say I try. Sometimes trying is a random facetime call on a Tuesday evening when I know my friend isn’t at work and I don’t have rehearsal. Other times, it is a quick text saying “Hi, I’m proud of you.” One friend and I send each other “photo dumps” of everything we might have missed from the other side of the country. I try to ask questions about their life-because as much as you want to spill the juicy, exciting details of your own existence, they do as well.
I have found a true friend is not expecting constant communication, but rather effort towards the relationship.

Thanks for sharing that. So, maybe next you can tell us a bit more about your work?
I’ve been told as an actor I should only date people outside of the arts to “balance each other out.” I have also been told to only date people in the arts because “no one else will understand your lifestyle.” Here’s what I’ve learned: there is no perfect formula. That’s it. Relationships and a career in entertainment are opposed because both things take a lot of sacrifice, effort, and work. I won’t sit here and tell you I am a master of dating, because vulnerably, I am single. I have had to end relationships before getting too far because I knew I could not pursue my career to the fullest in it. I have had to have hard conversations with some because they couldn’t see how my career was worth the sacrifice. I don’t fault anyone for not understanding my career in entertainment, how could I? But I do know what I need in a relationship. When I was in high school, I wouldn’t date because I said I was “married to a career I didn’t have yet.” My career choice is a commitment. Guess what? So is a relationship.
Let me break this down for you: I have to rehearse, perform, travel to auditions, relocate for contracts, take lessons to strengthen my skills, scout out auditions, network, and on top of all of it, keep investing in my friends and family all over the world. So when would I have the time to date? How would I even meet people? I even ask myself these questions. However, as I have alluded to previously, it is not about how many hours you have in a day, but rather where you invest those hours. If investing in a dating relationship is important enough, it will become a priority. The real challenge begins when you fall in love. In my experience, love tends to challenge how one sees the world and how one sees their own life. Love makes you ask the question, what would I sacrifice for this? Right before my sister got married, she and I were talking on the phone about all of our goals in life and what we hoped for and will work to achieve. She stopped mid sentence, took a break amongst her stream of words and said “Lauren, someday, you are going to meet someone who will help you fight for those goals…and you may realize that you would sacrifice all of that for them. That’s how I feel about him.” That was it for me. Instead of looking for someone who I thought could adapt to my way of life, I looked for someone who would champion me in my endeavors and I hoped someday, I’d be willing to sacrifice all of it for them even if that wasn’t required.
Dating as an actor isn’t always conventionally easy. Oftentimes, a live actor’s hard work begins when the majority of other’s work day ends. Which means our schedules are…diametrically opposed. Actors commit time and energy to a process others, including their partner may never get to experience or understand. For an actor, this career is not optional because it is a passion pursuit. For some, it can be challenging to see one’s partner chase what they are passionate about if the other hasn’t found their own calling. I could go through all the ins and outs of the oppositions, but I have realized, the reality is that with communication, commitment, and sacrifice, a relationship is more than possible. This is never foolproof, relationships are messy, unpredictable, and while I wish I could say if you work hard enough, anything will work, I can’t make that promise, but what I have learned from my previous relationships was well worth the risk.

Do you have any advice for those just starting out?
We were not created to be alone. For some, the need is the investment of family; for others, it may be having a friend or significant other with whom to share life. How do you navigate all these relationships as an actor? Find people who champion you and who you can encourage in return and prioritize them. There have been few things in my life more rewarding than the relationships I have been privileged to have.

Contact Info:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lauren.routledge/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lauren.routledge.35