We recently had the chance to connect with Isa Aguilera and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Isa , thank you for taking the time to reflect back on your journey with us. I think our readers are in for a real treat. There is so much we can all learn from each other and so thank you again for opening up with us. Let’s get into it: What do you think others are secretly struggling with—but never say?
I think others struggle with overwhelming loneliness more than they believe they do. And no, I’m not talking about feeling alone every once in a while. I think people are struggling with accepting that they are their only true companion in this life. It’s hard to accept it when so many people simply cannot sit with themselves and their own thoughts. Constantly needing to be stimulated is killing our abilities to form good relationships with ourselves. When the tv is off, and the music is over, the food is done, and the substances are imbibed in, you have yourself. You don’t have the girls who keep you around to make themselves look better, you don’t have the fair-weather friends who only want you when there is something to be gained. You have yourself and the whirring of the AC in your bedroom. It’s you and the sound of your own heartbeat for the rest of your life. It’s hard to be alone, to know that nothing in this life is every guaranteed to stay forever except your own mind (I think some 35 year old philosopher man said that, but I definitely had that thought in second grade.)
Loneliness isn’t an epidemic that plagues one gender, one sex, one group of individuals. Loneliness is a symptom of existence. But It’s a symptom that can be treated by learning how to love ourselves more.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
Hi!! My name is Isa, and I consider myself an activist and artist. While I am still working out the details of what I want my career to look like, I believe that showcasing that process makes the journey all the more real. To showcase your artistic process, i believe, makes people less scared to step into their own spotlight. I’m an actress, poet, writer, and musician. Right now, I am working on my college essays (lol,) and my first volume of lyrics/poems that I hope to publish in the next two years. Art has been my window to the world for the longest time. I remember when I’d write stories about my classmates and how I could see their life in fifteen years, how I’d read books and dream up extensions of worlds that have already been created. The mind, the metaphysical, human connection, all of those things are art to me. I believe my art in particular is a reflection of how the world is, but also how it could be. I was recently told by someone I looked up to in my craft that theatre was a space where we could “escape the outside world” and that politics and social justice topics were “inappropriate” to bring up in theatre spaces.
What a privilege it must be to have the ability to distance yourself from hate whenever you feel like it.
As the daughter of a Nicaraguan Immigrant and an African-American woman, the life I have lived doesn’t allow me to use art as an escape. I see my art not as a portal for escape, but a catalyst for change. So, no. I’ll never pretend to be apolitical even for a moment just to appeal to respectability politics. I will never force myself to conform or morph into someone I am not just to make people comfortable. That stuff’s for the birds.
I’m proud of how far I’ve come in my journey of self realization. I hope that you all will follow along with me.
Thanks for sharing that. Would love to go back in time and hear about how your past might have impacted who you are today. What part of you has served its purpose and must now be released?
I think that we as humans don’t necessarily release things for good, but rather we live in a continuum of behaviors and experiences that will continue to shape the people we are. For me, what I think I am relinquishing right now is my selfishness. I am a proud person, and I do believe myself worthy of many great things in life. Everyone should, I think. The problem for me lays in the fact that I can sometimes be so self absorbed and dogged in getting the things I want that I forget about the world around me. Yes, Isa, other peoples lives are also in progress. It can sometimes come from a place of pure desire for whatever it is I’m chasing, and other times it comes from a fear of never having that thing at all, feeling stuck in a place where I believe nothing about me is worthy unless I have THAT thing. Now, don’t get me wrong, selfishness isn’t all bad. Selfishness helps even the kindest people stay kind. But too much of anything isn’t good for you in the long run, so I’m taking a step back from that part of my identity and learning to let others shine for a moment.
Was there ever a time you almost gave up?
I really wanted to give up this past spring. I lost important friendships, I was failing my second semester of junior year, I had been broken up with on a whim, I lost a really important job, and the theatre spaces that once felt safe for me turned into places where I no longer felt welcome. I stayed in my room, trash piling up, not showering for days on end, talking to nobody and wanting absolutely nothing from the world. I felt worthless, I felt unloveable, and even on good days now, the shadows of that time lurk around the corners.
I lost everything this spring— I am so grateful that I did.
I have never stayed in a place that I wasn’t wanted. I will not. If I am not welcome, I will not continue to try and be apart of whatever it is you are excluding me from. This lesson is something that has been throwing me to the mat time and time again, and suddenly, it clicked. There are people who will love the fact that I don’t fit in, and join me in being wholly authentic to themselves. I can create a space where the buds of different colored roses aren’t cut off, but encouraged to grow. My activism, my art, my passion and my ultimate goal in life is the be able to cement a space like that in a city like Nashville. I want to give back to my community, and to help it change. It’s not DEI— it’s just life. You have to force spaces to be all white. You have to force spaces to be comprised solely of thin people. You have to FORCE conformity, and that is the gospel truth. I’m so grateful to live a life where the people who love me the most are the people who tell me to blaze my own path. People who are different belong everywhere— and that’s on “great jeans”
I think our readers would appreciate hearing more about your values and what you think matters in life and career, etc. So our next question is along those lines. Is the public version of you the real you?
It is. And I’m looking forward to seeing how it’ll change, and who it’ll attract and who it will lose. I make no apologies for the words I write, the things I say, the values that I believe in. I am steadfast in my personal beliefs, and I am an extremely confrontational person. I have never denied my confidence, my intelligence, or any perceived “good” quality about myself. But I also know that I am not simply good things. As I said, I can be selfish. I can be stubborn, a know-it-all, jealous, spiteful, angry, but I am human. At the end of the day, I am forced to go to sleep and exist in my own mind. In a few years, everyone I know and love could be gone and I would have to live with myself. I see no reason to not be who I truly am 100% of the time.
Okay, so before we go, let’s tackle one more area. What is the story you hope people tell about you when you’re gone?
I hope people will say that I was brilliant, authentic, and kind. I don’t care about people remembering my beauty, or my possessions, or my wealth. Nobody will remember my body or the awkward things I do when I’m uncomfortable or out of place. I want people to tell the story of a person who never failed to embrace their uniqueness, but also learned how to appreciate all kinds of people no matter how they came to be. I want my work to live beyond me, and inspire people to actively work to better the told around them. Actually, I know that will be my story, because everything I do in my life is to reach the goal. I will die one day, and only I can control how I truly am. I may not be able to influence the story told about me, but I hope my legacy will affect those who knew me in life, and encourage them to be more loving and proud of themselves .
Contact Info:
- Instagram: isamusic_8
Image Credits
@zoey.yale
