Laura Mustard shared their story and experiences with us recently and you can find our conversation below.
Laura , we’re thrilled to have you with us today. Before we jump into your intro and the heart of the interview, let’s start with a bit of an ice breaker: What do the first 90 minutes of your day look like?
Ooh, I love this question! Usually, I wake up and my golden retriever and lab are in my bed with me so we have morning snuggle time for a few minutes with lots of ear scratches and smooches and tail wagging. Then I get up and drink tea (black tea because it has the most caffeine!) and make breakfast. I eat pasta for breakfast cause I have a lot of food allergies and it’s a safe reliable food for me. I kind of combine the morning pages idea with journaling but just try to journal out three pages of thoughts – which usually looks like recounting the day before, plans for that day, and ideas around music. It is so helpful for me to have that dedicated time to empty out my brain in the morning. After breakfast and journaling time (usually supervised by my golden retriever, Sawyer), I do my bowel management morning routine. I was born with VATER syndrome, so my digestive and urinary tracts did note develop properly. So, using the bathroom has always been and will always be an adventure for me! Because of this, I benefit from having time in the morning to make sure my stomach is regulated and ready to go for the day. This means taking at least an hour and a half before work. I usually spend this time reading and/or writing lyrics. This morning I just finished reading The Wisdom of Insecurity by Alan Watts and started The Silver Snarling Trumpet by Robert Hunter. I do love having dedicated time to read every day! I used to use my iPad during my morning routine time for social media, but I find I get much more joy from reading – and I have so many piles of books I’ve been meaning to read that I’m finally starting to work through! So that’s my first 90 minutes: wake up, snuggle the dogs, journal and have breakfast, and then get my stomach ready for the day while reading!
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
Yes! My name is Laura Mustard. I am a songwriter and independent artist based out of Nashville, TN. My music is upbeat pop-folk and I play piano, guitar and banjo – though piano is my main instrument. My music highlights the themes of love of nature and dogs and also sharing life with medical issues and chronic conditions – with strong themes of self acceptance, advocacy, belonging and body positivity. As I mentioned before, I was born with a cluster of birth defects known as VATER syndrome which impacts my urinary and digestive tracts. So my stomach can be very temperamental and I have a catheter I live with, as well as a latex allergy. I always want to be really honest and be an example of someone who is living a full life with medical issues. Using the bathroom isn’t a very socially acceptable subject to talk about and if that is something your body cannot do easily, there can be a lot of shame. I want to share both the good and the bad of living with chronic conditions and help others feel seen if they live with similar challenges – or just provide education and normalization for these issues for those who aren’t already familiar.
Along with this goal of sharing very honest stories, my most recent song is about my experience of living with PTSD after being carjacked in 2016 off of Music Row in Nashville, TN. It’s called “Afraid Of The Dark” that I released on the 9 year anniversary of the night it happened. The song is very poppy and features a fiddle and horns, but the lyrics tell the story of night I got carjacked, what the paranoia that can result after with PTSD feels like, and learning to live with PTSD without letting it take over my life . It’s a song about making friends with our fears rather than being ruled by them – not necessarily about being “all better” because this PTSD will always be with me. But I think I have learned to live with it in a more healthy way. And I hope this song is helpful for anyone else who is also struggling with PTSD.
Great, so let’s dive into your journey a bit more. What’s a moment that really shaped how you see the world?
Being carjacked back in 2016 profoundly changed the way that I moved through the world. That experience really created a distinct “before” and “after”. I used to be much more trusting and innocent and carefree. But having a gun pointed at me and being robbed really made me much more aware of my surroundings – to the point of hypervigilance. I was less trusting of strangers, much more cautious. and slightly paranoid. I think I have evened out of the years where I still am more cautious and aware of my surroundings than I used to be, but not everything feels scary all the time. I did see a therapist for two straight years after being carjacked and that definitely helped me to process that experience. I also went through a period right after of reading every story in the news about crime in Nashville, which was also not helpful for my mental health. So I stopped collecting horror stories and just focused on what I could control. Now, I take precautions like looking up the parking situation ahead of time before I go somewhere new, having the GPS set to go in my phone before I leave where I am to walk to my car, and I immediately lock the doors and start driving as soon as I get into my car. This helps me be more safe, but the intensity has gone down a lot. I still have hard moments with it now and then, but it is much better than it used to be. You can be street smart but still trust people and go out and live your life. It just took me a while to get back to a healthy balance. Releasing my song “Afraid Of The Dark” about all of this really is one of the most cathartic experiences I’ve ever had. Truly a full circle moment and an experience of owning my story!
When did you stop hiding your pain and start using it as power?
What an interesting question! I guess I do have a coping mechanism of processing hard moments through songwriting. In the past, I have written positivity jams (a song about self acceptance called “Good Enough”) or songs about escapism called “Treehouse” and “Typewriter”, but lately I have not been trying to spin the experiences as much. Songs I have been working on in the past year or two are much more brutally honest. Like: “this is what happened, it was hard and here is what it’s like living with it.” Initially, I worried that these songs (like my latest, “Afraid Of The Dark”) would be too depressing and others might not relate. But actually, these songs have been the most cathartic to write! And others have said that they are easy to relate to and they appreciate feeling seen in the lyrics. Some topics, like chronic illness or PTSD, are not written about a lot in pop songs too so it does feel empowering to give a voice to these issues and hopefully help others who are living through similar experiences. And I think all forms of writing about painful moments are helpful – whether it be in seeing a positive side to it, writing an escapism song to cope with it, or addressing it head on. All are constructive and powerful!
Next, maybe we can discuss some of your foundational philosophies and views? Is the public version of you the real you?
I like this question in our modern age of social media! I think the public version I share online and in my songs is very close to the real version of me. I am very “come as you are” in my “brand” as an artist. Honestly, I’m either working my day job, doing something with music, running around with my dogs, taking care of my medical issues or doomscrolling while watching comfort shows. Haha. And I show the majority of those activities online. I’ve even posted videos sharing about my catheter and talking about what it’s like to live with one (and other medical issues like a latex allergy). I’m very much an open book around my medical experiences because growing up I didn’t know a lot of other people with my same issues and I don’t want others to feel that same isolation. I’m hoping other people can relate to the stories I share.
In terms of my “brand”, I’m currently wearing a flannel shirt and jeans as I type this, which is pretty much what I feel comfortable wearing on stage. Or tie-dye in the summer when it’s warmer. I personally don’t like to wear make-up (it’s mostly a sensory thing, but more power to those who do!). I have a few hats I save just for the stage, but I’ll wear baseball caps pretty regularly. Always have since high school – got in the habit when the Red Sox went to the world series and then just kind of never stopped wearing them. My last name really is Mustard, my favorite color has always been yellow, my favorite flower is a sunflower, I love dogs, and I really do collect typewriters. Like all of that imagery I have used around my music is real to my life. I really did get carjacked and we went back to the exact spot where it happened to take the photos for that single, so that was all very real. I fully admit that I do NOT live in a treehouse, despite my best efforts! But I did keep the tin-can phone I made for that project and use that from time to time. Haha. My art is a reflection of who I am and either the experiences I’ve lived through or the dream worlds I’ve built up in my head.
I guess I do like to process hard moments on my own and share about it later, so you’ll probably never see a video of me crying or ranting online. I like to be more measured in my responses and post things that I think are constructive. But I am not shy around talking about hard or vulnerable moments after they have happened. In general too though, I’m not great at processing my emotions in real time. Like I need time to sit with things and I may not write lyrics about something really hard until a year or two later after I’ve had time to really process it (but I will journal right away!). Sometimes there is a little bit of a time-lag. But in general, I try to be honest and open about my feelings and be very confessional in my lyrics. In terms of my social media and marketing around my music, I have more of a “build it and they will come” attitude as well. I just post what I like and I’m not really worried about jumping on trends or pleasing an algorithm. I may post a trend if I can somehow work my dogs into it cause I think it’s funny. But I am pretty much just making videos of my music, medical adventures and my dogs and I’m hoping it all finds the right people.
I guess just all of that to say – what you see is what you get. All the Mustard is organic. Haha!
Okay, we’ve made it essentially to the end. One last question before you go. Are you doing what you were born to do—or what you were told to do?
Honestly, I think a little bit of both! I don’t know if I necessarily believe each person is destined for one thing. I think we all have lots of talents and strengths and challenges. And our culture kind of pushes us to only do one thing really well. I know if money weren’t an issue and we had a different healthcare situation in our society, I would be trying to do music full time. There are definitely some constraints where I do need to pay my mortgage and I have a lot of health issues so a PPO plan is vital for me to safely take care of myself and not go into debt – so the day job is necessary. But, I also believe I am very good at working with children as a speech pathologist.
As someone who has written “Santa Paws” and “Treehouse” it may not surprise you that I get along with kids well. A big part of my job at work is “playing”, though, there is a lot I do and structure to target specific speech or language or behavioral objectives during that play. I had a supervisor in grad school once tell me “good speech therapy with children really just looks like playing if you’re doing it right.” And that is true, though there are a lot of considerations that go into what is being played with and how. So I don’t want to diminish the incredibly hard work that goes into speech therapy, but working with the children is very fun for me! I think also being born and raised with a lot of medical issues gives me a lot of empathy for families with children who have language and/or medical disorders. Sometimes it is weird walking up to the waiting room to bring families back for speech therapy because I grew up in waiting rooms. But I know how to listen and empathize with families. To a degree, I have been where they are. So I think I am primed to be a good pediatric speech therapist based on my upbringing.
But I also love music! I love writing songs. I love words. I love spinning a phrase and telling a story. I love everything about songwriting and singing and playing instruments. When I play on stage, I feel like I’m flying! And I think if I did not have to have a safety net, I definitely would have tried to just do music full time at a younger age. But I am happy where I have ended up. I don’t know if we’re “born to do” things. I know we have talents – and those who are able to pursue them full time are very lucky. I feel lucky to be good at a few things. I feel lucky to help people both professionally with my job as a speech therapist AND after work as a musician. I went through a period of feeling like I was failing because I had a day job, but it’s something I’ve made peace with – really in the past two years or so. As long as I am creating and sharing music, that is what is important. And I’m grateful I am doing it in a way where I’m not in debt and all my basic needs are met. But I’m still grateful to be in Nashville where I can play out multiple times a week sharing my own songs and that I have access in Music City to great co-writers, producers and music teachers (guitar is something I love, even though I’m still learning and not playing on stage yet). The songwriting community in Nashville is unique and I feel lucky to be a part of it! Still, it is a myth of capitalism that you aren’t doing something ‘well” (or you’re not “a real musician”) unless you’re earning a living from it. Not sure if I was “born to do” music and I wasn’t “told” not to do it, I was just told to be smart with how I went about it. I’ve always loved music from a young age and I have made it a big priority in my life. Sharing these songs and building a community around my music is so meaningful to me, as is working with children as a speech pathologist. And my dogs also bring me more happiness than I can describe! It’s okay to be well rounded and have many things that bring me joy. Honestly, I think we’re just “born to” make it up as we go and try to enjoy ourselves while we’re here!
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.lauramustard.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lauramustard
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lauramustardmusic
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/lauramustardmusic
- Soundcloud: https://www.soundcloud.com/lauramustard
- Other: Link Tree: www.linktree.com/lauramustard
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/0yoEf2gicVybjO38cQJfmL?si=1Cg6mlO5RLmLwVzDkuxJyA
Apple Music: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/laura-mustard/1091850516
TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@lauramustardmusic
Image Credits
“Afraid Of The Dark” Photos by Lauren Miller of Mountaindog Designs
Keyboard photo by Rhythm & Lyrics Photography
