Community Highlights: Meet Victoria Valdez of Victoria Valdez Child & Family Services

Today we’d like to introduce you to Victoria Valdez.

Hi Victoria, we’d love for you to start by introducing yourself
Sure! I am a wife, mother of 3, dancer (salsa, merengue & bachata), Latina, social justice warrior, mental health counselor, and business owner. People often ask me why I chose counseling as a career choice? And the short answer: when I needed it, it was not an option for me. In my experience growing up as a Mexican American in Texas, the concept of therapy was taboo. You didn’t go to therapy unless “Estas loco/ you are crazy.” It was also not acceptable to talk about family problems with anyone. There was mistrust of medical professionals, mental health providers, and others. I had a rough childhood and my teenage years were just as challenging.

As a child, I experienced divorce, poverty, racial trauma, grief, child abuse, and struggled in school academically due to untreated (undiagnosed) ADHD. Through it all, I found the strength to never stop trying. No matter how many times I failed: giving up was not an option. As a child, adults often commented “No, means yes for Victoria”. I was a spirited “strong-willed” child.

The racial trauma my family and I experienced took a toll on the development of my self-esteem and much more. I remember I was told in 6th grade by a teacher that I would never go to college because I was a dumb Mexican and would cut grass for the rest of my life. Remember, “No” meant yes for me. They said I would never make it. They said I was dumb, and I did all they said I could not do.

Even though I still accomplished my dreams, if I had access to therapy as a child and teenager, I believe I would have had less hardship adjusting to adulthood. That being said, if my younger years were any different, I am uncertain I would have still chosen to be a therapist working with children, teens, and families. Helping children, teens and families heal and navigate difficult life situations is extremely rewarding.

As I worked on my undergraduate degree, I gained ten years of experience working with teens and children. I worked at multiple adolescent residential treatment centers, teen and child group homes (as a house parent) and facilitated home visits as a parent educator for families with children ages prenatal to three years old. I like to refer to my pre-counselor experience, as working on the frontlines. I got the honor to work with children and teens who had experienced severe neglect, abuse, grief and help them build resiliency.

One of my fondest work memories; was working as a house parent (at the age of 24), living with children ages 10 to 18 as their foster parent. There was never a dull moment. While in my Marriage & Family Therapy Masters Program, I worked as a counselor conducting in-home therapy sessions with children and teens.

Can you talk to us a bit about the challenges and lessons you’ve learned along the way? Looking back would you say it’s been easy or smooth in retrospect?
My journey towards being a counselor was rocky and a long-distance marathon. My academic journey was not the traditional route. I attended college off and on due to personal issues: endured the death of my father (who raised me as a single parent from the age of 10), experienced being financially independent at the age of 18 (no parental or family financial support), and completed college with a combination of winning scholarships and paying my tuition. I worked 40 + hours a week and attended college. When I could not afford tuition, I took breaks from college, saved money, and started again.

I did this while having the untreated learning disability ADHD. I also married during this time and had two children. I just had my third child in 2021. It was also a challenge learning how to run my own business, something they don’t teach you in graduate school. But I was able to still start my own business and am proud of being a Latina business owner.

The lessons I’ve learned along the way is the continuation of my determination and motto that giving up is never an option. Moreover:

• Failing means your trying
• There are no mistakes only learning opportunities
• I am my measuring stick of success
• I am the milagro (miracle) of my ancestor’s courage
• Run your numbers

I have much more to learn and look forward to lessons that come.

Appreciate you sharing that. What should we know about Victoria Valdez Child & Family Services?
My private practice focuses on working with children, teens, parents, and women. Even though I’m trained to work with adults and do enjoy that population, kids and teens have my heart. I’ve been called the “teen whisper” and referred to by parents as relatable and the type of therapist who doesn’t sugarcoat things. When a parent tells me their kiddo needs help, I let parents know that the healing and change they want to see in their child or teen must be mirrored within the parent and family system.

In other words, I expect parents to do the work of examining their parenting styles, learn how to parent from a developmental perspective, and learn to model the calm within their child’s storm. Included in my counseling services are regular parent or guardian sessions mixed with family sessions. Parents are pleased with this setup because I provide them with the tools and resources they need to parent in a way that improves their parent-child relationship and fosters healing.

Some of my specializations are with children and teens struggling with anxiety, dealing with grief, or who have experienced trauma. This is the same for adult women I work with.

Because I believe it is important for me to stay up to date with the most current evidence-based treatment, I am committed to continuing my education to provide the best services. I have over 100 hours of training in working with children in teens with anxiety, grief, and trauma. I am also trained in play therapy, and brainspotting (for kids, teens, and adults). The learning and refining of my skills never stop.

What is also unique to my counseling practice is I see a low number of clients a week to provide high-quality individualized counseling care. I remember my agency days, carrying a high caseload and feeling like I was flying by the seat of my pants and running ragged. I had little time for myself and little time to review each of my client’s cases before the next one was walking in on the heals of the previous client. Now I enjoy taking the time I need to evaluate each client’s situation carefully, pay for any extra training I need to enrich their healing, be fully rested and completely present in mind, body, and soul.

In addition to my counseling work, I also run a Spanish-speaking mental health group for TN Spanish-speaking providers. This group is a space where Spanish-speaking providers can work together to continue outreach to Spanish-speaking individuals in the community. In 2019, I hosted my first (1 day) Latinx Virtual Mental Health summit and look to host more in the future.

This year I launched my first Parent Book Club called Not Your Average Parenting Book Club to support parents looking for more effective and healthy ways to raise their children.

Are there any books, apps, podcasts, or blogs that help you do your best?
I am really into EFT Tapping (Emotional Freedom Techniques) and use the EFT Tapping solution app. I also use this with clients. This helps me manage any anxiety or stress I may have. I also do lots of mindfulness and mediation. https://www.thetappingsolutionapp.com/.

Contact Info:

• Email: [email protected]
• Website: www.victoria-valdez.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vvaldezmft/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vvaldezmft
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAQ7xzrR0G3AFbeKODFfCDw