Marissa J shared their story and experiences with us recently and you can find our conversation below.
Marissa, a huge thanks to you for investing the time to share your wisdom with those who are seeking it. We think it’s so important for us to share stories with our neighbors, friends and community because knowledge multiples when we share with each other. Let’s jump in: What makes you lose track of time—and find yourself again?
So I have a bit of a quarterly ritual. When the seasons change (never really on the same day but around that timeframe) I’ll turn off everything that could connect me to the outside world and I let myself be bored. Nine times out of ten, that’s when I have a big idea or start a project that leads to something productive.
I highly suggest everyone do this every once in a while. And you don’t have to announce it unless you have people you stay in regular contact with. Just shut out as much as you can (sometimes I’ll still stream or maybe write on my laptop) and just sit. Twiddle your thumbs, pace back and forth if you’re restless but just allow yourself to become bored. Something productive always happens for me.
Can you briefly introduce yourself and share what makes you or your brand unique?
So I’m Marissa J, just a random Black chick on the internet. I focus heavily on topics concerning Foundational Black Americans from a realistic point of view. Look, I’m just a regular Black American. I work third shift at a warehouse, I have kids and yes, 2020 knocked me on my behind too. But there’s so much leaning in either direction, I’d like to represent the average, non-brainwashed part of this country.
Also, I’d like to add that to be proud of who you are doesn’t mean to hate anyone else. I love being a Foundational Black American and there’s nothing wrong with that. A good friend of mine is Irish American and she’s VERY proud of that and I love that for her. Be proud of who you are, just don’t put anyone else down in the process. Defend yourself, of course but there’s never a reason to hate anyone based on how much you love yourself.
Okay, so here’s a deep one: What part of you has served its purpose and must now be released?
I had a podcast, The Queen’s Table, back a few years ago. The platform I hosted on, anchor.fm, switched ownership and deals so many times that my login information got lost in the sauce and I no longer have access to that podcast. It had something to do with linking to Spotify, which has a different login. Plus, this was during a time where I was going through a lot. There were many hoops but in the end, I lost out.
I learned so many lessons from that like ALWAYS HAVE BACKUPS!! And it was hard to accept that I can’t continue the pod, I mean it was like my baby. It’s still up, anyone can listen to the hundreds of episodes published already but nothing recent.
But my YouTube channel, something I didn’t even want to do, is now thriving and even though it took some time, I’ve finally accepted that this is my lane. At least for now.
When did you stop hiding your pain and start using it as power?
It’s silly, especially at my very big age but it was actually pretty recent. I have no idea what got me through my father passing away, I suppose a number of things like family, closure, therapy, time, there were lots of factors.
But recently(ish), I was rejected by a guy. Nothing dramatic or anything and it was a totally understandable situation; a blameless, amicable departure. It still stung. But then, I finally heard Glorious, Glorilla’s album, and I got a turbo rush of ideas.
That album really was better than any therapy session. People have a misconception about depression. It isn’t passive, it actually takes all the energy out of you. If you can turn that energy into something productive, you can never lose. The trick is finding that motivation factor. For me, it was Glorious.
So a lot of these questions go deep, but if you are open to it, we’ve got a few more questions that we’d love to get your take on. What’s a belief you used to hold tightly but now think was naive or wrong?
That all skin folk is kin folk. That’s to say, Black people are all the same everywhere, the belief in Pan-Africanism.
This is an incredibly controversial answer but hey, that’s what I do. I try to put controversial topics into perspective.
This isn’t about division. Yes, we were all once connected but that connection broke a very long time ago. People in Haiti have Congolese and French DNA but they don’t say they are African Haitian.
The dark skinned people in Brazil also have West African DNA, along with Spanish and Indigenous. They don’t say they’re African Brazilian.
My ancestors came from Mississippi, Louisiana and Arkansas, as far back as I can trace. I’ve never been to Africa and neither have my parents or their parents before them or their parents before them. My roots are right here in America, an Irish, Nigerian, English, Chinese mixture. The point being, we are totally different from other Black people across the world and that’s okay! Again, be proud of who you are. My aim is to normalize knowing and respecting our differences so that we can all come together as one.
So I suppose my belief in the Pan-Africanist movement was something I held onto pretty tightly until I was able to take a step back to see we’ve got to clean up our house first.
Okay, we’ve made it essentially to the end. One last question before you go. What are you doing today that won’t pay off for 7–10 years?
I’m laying down some pretty foundational groundwork for Foundational Black Americans, which in turn would benefit all Americans. I don’t want to speak on it too soon because its a project I just started working on this year but I am confident that this would change America for the better.
And this isn’t anything I’d want notoriety for, my long term legacy (15+ years from now) will far exceed this massive undertaking and not many will know about that either!
I hate to be so cryptic but just hang tight, you’ll see.
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Image Credits
Photography by: Marissa J
