Today we’d like to introduce you to Melissa Stamper.
Hi Melissa, so excited to have you on the platform. So before we get into questions about your work-life, maybe you can bring our readers up to speed on your story and how you got to where you are today?
Hi,
My name is Melissa. I was born in the heart of Louisiana on England Airforce Base. My parents were both extremely talented. He, a musician of several instruments, a singer and a prolific poet. My mother a singer, musician, artist and novelist. I guess you could say I came about my gifts naturally. My mother always said, “Nothing beats a try but a do” and I’ve lived that every moment of my life. Any hair-brained idea my brother and I would come up with, she was the one making it happen, so we could have no excuses not to try. This is a role I would mirror many years later.
I was in beauty pageants as a child and very much enjoyed being on stage and winning. Losing… not so much. But it taught me the importance of good sportsmanship and how to celebrate others wins. Many years later, a good friend of mine, Nanette said, “If you can’t lose gracefully, you didn’t deserve to win.” That’s so true. And that is a lesson my mother taught me when the crown was placed on someone else’s head.
When I was 13, I started gaining weight and my pageant career gave way to low self-esteem and an inferiority complex that lasted well into my teens. It was then that I gave my life to the Lord and started singing gospel songs. I had always sang and had no problem finding areas to sing, but as a “Christian singer”, the opportunities, I found, were few and far between. So I told my mom one day how cool it would be to have a television show where someone could host a show where local talent could come and minister and be interviewed – and that would open doors for them, as invitations would surely flow from churches within the reach of the show. Mom-mode activated. She did everything she could to bring this show, “Lookin’ Up”, to fruition and six months later, I hosted my first episode. I was a TV Host! Who knew!?
As the Lord would have it, to every thing, there is a season and that one came to an end. It was then that I discovered Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey and where once I was singing Opera like Sandi Patti, I was now singing with a bit more soul and carved out my own sound.
I was married in 1992 to William V. Stamper III, a construction worker, turned cross-country driver and we moved from my home state of Louisiana to start our lives in Colorado. I became a Medical Assistant when no one knew what one was and after not being able to find work, my husband talked me into driving with him. So, I drove cross-country as a professional driver for two and a half years with him at my side. I can proudly boast, I’ve only killed one Wal-Mart shopping cart in my driving career. Who knew!? I was a truck-driver!
Pageantry was in my blood though, and I thought about it a lot. During that time, I was looking through a magazine for pageant my little sister could compete in and I saw a pageant that had 5 divisions in it. 4 thin women age divisions and one plus size division. I was so excited, I immediately called my mom. MOM MODE: She did everything she could for us to raise the money for the entry fee and to travel to Disney World to compete. Not only did I win my title, I won talent and I won two out of the three overall awards. (This is the thin women, included… which some weren’t happy about.) While my family reveled in my triumph, on the ride back up to my room, there were two thin women who were beautiful and seemingly gracious. They congratulated me and complimented me on my voice and my wins. But as I was leaving the elevator, I heard one say to the other, “Who let the cows out?” I was devastated… and all of the good the pageant had done for my self-esteem was shattered. But then… I started to think, “How cool would it be to have an exclusive pageant for women sizes 14 and up, ages 18 and up, to come and not have to worry about being treated that way.” And the Miss Plus America Pageant was born in 2002. Who knew!? I was a Founder and CEO!
My husband became interested in programming and so became a programmer, which took us off of the road. We returned to Louisiana to be close to my mother after a short detour to live in Texas. By then, a Medical Assistant, though not in high demand, was a bit more familiar to the medical field and so I was able to take a job in a local hospital and work as a Unit Secretary where I met the doctor who would employ me as his Office Manager for ten years. Who knew?! I was an Office Manager!
I worked in Louisiana as an Office Manager for a brilliant Internist but needed a change from Louisiana. So we moved to Nashville where my brother lived. I began working for HCA in the fall of 2011 while I planned and hosted the Miss Plus America pageant annually until my mother became ill and in order to take care of her with my family, I sold the Miss Plus America pageant. You would think it was a difficult decision. But in retrospect, it wasn’t. She needed my attention and I couldn’t work, host my pageant and take care of her, so I laid my pageant down. I would’ve laid down much more had the need arise. She was a rock-star of a mother. So loved. So appreciated.
She suffered from stage 4 COPD and had several broken vertebrae secondary to Osteoporosis. She was bed-ridden and couldn’t fly commercial and because of her back, she couldn’t drive 8-9 hours, so I reached out to my friend, Everett Aaron of Judah 1, Inc. Judah 1 is an aviation ministry specifically dedicated to flying missionaries to destinations, medical missions and is also involved in the support humanitarian aid and disaster relief, such as the most recent Hurricane Melissa and Venezuela earthquakes. With the help of my extended family’s financial support, we were able to fly mom in on a private plane with two nurses on board to make sure she was happy and healthy. After receiving such love and support from Judah 1, I began to volunteer for their company.
It was during this time I also began to learn graphic design and took jobs here and there. Where once I was busy all day with planning and creating associated with a national pageant, when mom didn’t need me, I began watching movies and series on other platforms. I fell in love with Korean Dramas though. I like them because of their strict censorship. The storytelling is amazing and this really appealed to me. I began studying how they were written, the structure of an episode, the character arcs and after a while I thought, “I can do this. After all, ‘nothing beats a try but a do!” So, I purchased Final Draft, a screenwriting software and began writing. A couple of years later, I was approached to write the original script for a movie called, “Pardoned by Grace”, which starred Joey Lawrence and Michael W. Smith. Who knew!? I was a screenwriter!
Unfortunately, 2019 was one of the hardest years I’ve ever lived through. My beautiful and sweet mother passed away in January, my baby brother in August and my beloved husband of 27 years passed away in November, without my permission. To lose so many people close to you within a span of 11 months is very difficult but in those moments of despair, I was not alone. I spent a lot of time in prayer… and in His presence there is fullness of joy and it’s the joy of the Lord that is our strength. So, with the love of my surviving brothers and the support of my very close friends, I was able to move forward. Who knew!? I was a survivor!
I am currently still employed with HCA … but I can’t twiddle my thumbs for long. I created the Sovereign Ms. pageant, exclusively for women ages 40 and above where regality is our reality on a daily basis. It’s been wonderful to forge friendships with women of like-minds and hearts for people, and I’ve really enjoyed the planning process. Who knew!? I’m a kingdom builder!
Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?
No road worth traveling comes without its bumps. Struggles include being bullied because of my weight as a child, childhood divorce, as mentioned in my very long story one question prior, losing half of the family in a year…
But I don’t dwell on that. You can’t move forward well while you’re looking back. Moving forward can be challenging and difficult. That’s where faith comes in.
When we take a drive at night, it’s dark and our lights only shine so far… but we keep going, right? Because we trust the road will be there beyond where we can see. This is the definition of faith.
Thanks for sharing that. So, maybe next you can tell us a bit more about your work?
Of all of my accomplishments, I’m most proud of creating the Miss Plus America pageant. Not because it ‘just celebrates obesity’ as some would label it – but because it gives women an outlet to just be happy where they are. Waiting until you feel you’re acceptable to anyone else but yourself is a waste of your time, your life, your gifts. The pageant gives women the opportunity to walk on stage in a gown and a crown and proudly say, “It’s okay to judge me. I’m okay with that. This is me with no excuses.”
But more than the good it does for the heart to be yourself in any environment, it’s an opportunity to help others. For example, our second year, a woman contacted me and told he her story of how she suffered childhood se*ual abuse at the hands of her stepfather. After telling her mother, who didn’t believe her, she made the decision to run away at sixteen. As she grew, she made a promise to herself that when she grew up and was in a stable home, she’d go into schools and talk to children about this, and this is exactly what she tried to do.
She met with the School Board, and they gave her a firm no. “We won’t let you go into our schools and talk to our kids about this. As far as we know, you could be an abuser.” This decision devasted her because she knew this was needed. So, she called me and asked about the pageant and told me her story. I told her that if she went back with statistics, stories, all proof this was happening but wore a crown and sash, they would change their mind.
So, a month later, she returned in her crown, her statistics and her stories. She said at first, they just sat there and looked at her. “You can send me away, but this problem is not going away. All I want to do is help… LET ME.” After a brief review, they agreed to a trial run.
Within one week of her going into schools, three little girls turned in their abusers. And this is the power of a crown. It doesn’t matter who wears it. It’s a tool that opens doors for change. This is how we change the world and make it better.
What’s next?
My plans, beyond my current Sovereign Ms. pageant are to continue writing scripts. I have several ideas I’ve written in my head. When I have a chance, I’ll write them all down.
Beyond that, as Jack Dawson (Titanic character) would say, “I’m on God’s good humor.”
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.sovereignmiss.com
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sovereignmisspageant
- Other: https://www.missplusamerica.com
