Today we’d like to introduce you to Erin Oviatt Stephens
Hi Erin , it’s an honor to have you on the platform. Thanks for taking the time to share your story with us – to start maybe you can share some of your backstory with our readers?
After almost 10 years of marriage, two children, 4 houses, and living as best as I could as a follower of Jesus, my marriage hit a huge roadblock. My husband and I weren’t getting along, barely speaking, and just living more as roommates, I finally hit a breaking point. I just kept having this thought on my heart, “this couldn’t be what God envisioned for my life?” My husband wasn’t a believer, and we didn’t see eye to eye on many major things that a husband and wife should, especially when raising two small children. I would say “black”, he would say “white” on almost everything. After a long, drawn out, expensive divorce, I decided to write a blog. I journaled for years and thought this would be more of an outlet for me to tell my story to those who may have heard it wrong or never heard it. But I just wanted to finally have a voice, because in my marriage I no longer had one. Over the years I turned into this person I didn’t even recognize. I wasn’t the outgoing, happy, energetic self that everyone would describe me as. I was now a “walking on eggshells,” anxious and always uneasy, introvert, I faced spiritual warfare in my own home, unwarranted degrading comments, and treated unfairly as a wife and partner. But over the last two years my blog turned into something much bigger than I thought it would. Many people have followed along, messaged me, empathized with me, and even just rooted me on to succeed. I talk about having lived with an undiagnosed narcissist ex-husband, that I continually battle co-parenting with 50/50. I talk on how the silence can be so heartbreaking when my children are at their dad’s house for the week. I talk about what it’s like dating after divorce. How to take the time to self-care, which I find extremely hard. I talk about how things change when you hit 40-years old. What it’s like raising a pre-teen daughter that is very impressionable and emotional. And raising a son that is non-verbal autistic. I’m a Christian, single mom, trying to make it all work, and survive. While working and going back to school for my own degree in Special Education, life is anything but easy. Every day is an uphill battle, and the struggles are very real. But through it all, myself and my children, we make it work for “us.” This is how “life after divorce” looks.
We all face challenges, but looking back would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
It has been anything but smooth. I would say number one, living without my children half the time has been extremely difficult. I love being a mom and not being able to see them every day was a hard adjustment. Being both “mom” and “dad” in the house has it’s trying times of course. Co-parenting is pretty difficult too. We never saw eye to eye on anything being married so being divorced it’s much harder to agree.
Because I’m a mom of a special needs child I had to find a job flexible enough to work with me and my schedule when he’s in my care. My background, I was a hairstylist for many years. But after my youngest was born, I became a stay-at-home mom. So, getting out and trying to find a job after staying home for some time was already going to be hard. I probably applied for over 15 jobs while going through my divorce and the only place that would hire me was a church preschool. They were the only ones that worked with me on my schedule and were just happy to have my help.
I’m also going back to school as well and finding the balance with school, my kids, and working has been a struggle.
Alright, so let’s switch gears a bit and talk business. What should we know about your work?
Aside from The New Me Mom blog, I work at the Rolling Hills Community Church Learning Center in Franklin. I truly have an empathetic heart for children and love working in a church environment. I would say I’m most known for being happy and I just want to be that face that they always see smiling when they come to school. I’m most proud of the gifts that come along with who I’ve grown as a special needs mom. The things my own children have taught me, especially my son, is really significant in my approach to being around and teaching other kids.
Is there any advice you’d like to share with our readers who might just be starting out?
For those wanting to start a blog you need to make sure you clearly identify your demographic and audience as well as the topics you want to write on. There’ll be days where I have so much to say and then weeks where I have nothing. So, I would say just have a clear idea of what you want to focus on. There are so many other ways you can also reach your audience by adding links to other pages for products as well like, Amazon for instance. You can feature products, recipes, routines, whatever your blog is seeking for in addition to your content itself. And if you have a large audience or following you can always monetize yourself to where you can get paid for your posts on your blog.
On the flip side, for those of you just stepping out of a divorce and not knowing how to navigate, give yourself grace. Starting over is a big deal, and there is no right or wrong way to do it because everyone is different. Everyone’s circumstances are different. Take one day at a time and find a community of like-minded people. Had God not taken everything from my life, during the end of my marriage, I would have never seen the blessings he filled back in and continues to do it daily. As hard as it might be, sit in the silence. I struggled with this one and sometimes have a hard time still, but it helps get through some of the tough days, just reflecting on how far you’ve come in your journey. I also love to volunteer my time in helping others. In your down time, find a place to spend time and serve in your community. You will feel better for having done it, trust me! And prayer is such a powerful thing. God is listening. He’s still writing your story and wants nothing more than for you to succeed.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://thenewmemom.blog
- Instagram: @thenewmemom
